I had better sex in prison.
A review by Mike Shea Movie Rating: ( 0) DVD Rating: ( * * * · · )
Ok, I knew this movie was going to hurt before I turned it on, but as my new personal hero, Tyler Durdon, says sometimes we have to sacrifice ourselves for the greater good. So I put my own sanity on the line so that you, dear reader, do not have to go through the pain I did. Let me get this out of the way and make sure this is perfectly clear to the reader who might not get my witty analogies or might miss my subtle sarcasm. Reindeer Games sucks bad. Even when they put the tasty Danny Trejo, it can't save this movie. Even when they dress Mr. Trejo up in sleevless open chest shirts in December, just so you can see the cool lady tattoo, this movie still bites.
Since we are talking about tattoos, lets get to the heart of what makes this movie bad. No matter how many fake tattoos you paint on Twins!
I started this movie after a near miss with St. Paul Police site of recent Prostitution Arrests much more intriguing and intellectually stimulating than "Games", as will you I imagine. By the end of this movie, you realize that you watched a mystery for dumb people. Anyone with intelligence wouldn't care if it turned out that he had a plug in his head and was in a vat full of pink he-man slime, it would still suck. Dumb people on the other hand might get a charge out of being surprised, but finding out that Stone Cold Steve Austin's partner turned traitor on him would be just as exciting to this crowd.
The DVD itself can't be bashed too hard unless you feel the utter material of the film taints all things in the known universe. Since I am beginning to subscribe to this theory, I am docking it a star at least for this reason alone. It does have a Dolby Digital 5.1 soundtrack and a 16x9 enhanced 2.35 to 1 picture. Frankly I didn't look for any special features except how well it would fly into a wood chipper compared to Steve Buscemi.
Ok, I believe you got the point of this whole review. Let my sacrifice of sanity protect you from the pain that is Reindeer Games. Go see something with a bit more depth of character and drama like Mr. Nanny.